In Theatre for Living workshops, whenever David Diamond led us in an Image Theatre exploration, he would always ask us to start a line for a character with “I want…” Sometimes, he required us to be very specific. If we said “I don’t want…” or “I want him to…”, he would interrupt us and ask directly: “What do you want?”
This reminds me of an observation a professor shared when I was in university. He said that when choosing a career, many young people are often very clear about what they don’t want to do, but are utterly confused about what they do want to do. This is a very common problem. In situations of oppression, we might be very clear that we refuse to be oppressed, but we rarely take the time to think about what we truly desire.
David also realized this, which is why he didn’t limit the intervention to just having a “spect-actor” replace the protagonist to fight against the oppression. Instead, he allows anyone to replace any character, creating an opportunity for everyone to explore the community’s deeper, true desires.
My own experience as a facilitator has also often witnessed the power of this “I want…”. Once, during a parenting workshop, an image depicting a conversation between a parent and a child was presented. Most of the attendees, identifying with the parent, stood beside the person playing the parent’s role. I would tap them on the shoulder and ask them to say a sentence beginning with “I want…”. Many participants said, “I want him to listen to me…” or “I want him to understand…”. As usual, I asked them to rephrase it—not what they wanted the other person to do, but what their own inner desire was. The participants tried a few times, still saying “I want him to…”, but finally said: “I want to care for him,” or “I want to understand him.”
From “I want him to understand” to “I want to understand him.” Both of these are the participant’s inner desires. In the midst of conflict, we easily and mechanically see only what we want the other person to do, while ignoring another of our own inner desires. Making “the other person understand” or “the other person listen to me” can be difficult. But once we become aware that there is another level of desire within us, we can make a choice. If we can first satisfy the desire “to understand the other person” or “to care for the other person,” then the relationship has a chance to break out of the conflict cycle of “I want you to do something.”
David often mentions that without changing patterns of behavior, even structural changes are useless. And for me, understanding our own inner desires is the starting point for changing these patterns of behavior.
*The content of this article was conceptualized by the author, with AI assistance for some of the editing and translation.
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